Day 4 - Manly Pink

Things weren’t so bad today. I have come to the complete understanding that for this process to work you truly have to let go and start from the beginning. Not so easy all the time, but I am trying. Today was much of the same, physiotherapy involves a lot of re-teaching your body to do things that it stopped doing for whatever reason – and then strengthening that ability. Have I yet mentioned that it hurts!!!???

So today had mainly stretching exercises until…. The weights. Yes the weights. A long time ago in a land far far away, I used to spend a lot of time in the gym. LOTS. Leg pressing stacks, benching your body weight and then some, triceps dips until your arms screamed “stop you sexy thang”….

Today was the beginning, I had to keep chanting, today is just the beginning. This story has two parts… part 1) the seated row. Oh yeah baby, I know about this one. Uh huh. The therapist says to me in a therapisty tone “we don’t want to over do this now, so let’s go easy…” Easy Shmeezy. So he starts me off and I am ripping through rows… I’m Olympic bound on a shell. Then it happens, therapist comes back and says that’s too easy… “maybe we should increase the weight?” Ya maybe you should, do you know who I am? Boooyaka!!! So he does, he bumps it up to 15 pounds!!! You ever see the episode of Flintstone’s when Fred shrinks?? Whamp whamp waaaaaaaa

Part 2) Ok so I’m gonna knock it out the park with free weight shoulder presses. Yea baby!!! He hands two dumbbells to me, and I get to it. Whooo haaaa. Set of ten here I come… 6… 7… 8… and the shaking is now unbearable. I have to stop. “Don’t worry sir, it will get better!” Sir?!?!? Who the #&#% is he talking to??? I’m not old enough to be called a sir! You stereotyping SOB. Just because I am in physiotherapy I must be a “sir”??? Well I will show you!

9… ok I can’t make it to 10 and that’s when it happened. ‘Dude’ says, we will go down to the lighter weight and work up to the monster 5lb dumbbells soon. Yes you read right, the weight that was causing the chaos was 5 lbs a side. Haha … NOT?!?!!? This my friends is where it got ridiculous. What does he bring as the replacement killer… the 2.5lb dumbbells. Are you serious? Man, no way… wait, what is that???

They are dipped in fluorescent pink rubber.

Yes.

Well I did what any self respecting man would do in this situation… I picked back up my banana yellow 5 pounders, and went back to work. My count may have skipped some numbers, but gosh darnit I finished my 10!

And that is the end of my story.

Loopy and goodnight.

Ouch.