Olive Green, fresh and clean.

Olive Green, fresh and clean.

In 2006 when I went to the world cup I blogged to let family and friends enjoy the journey because many of them could never have made it even if they tried. I’m thinking that the sentiment is similar, but very different now in that I hope none of you want to experience Rhabdomyolysis on your own, but you read because you want to get a sense of the experience that I am going through… or simply you think I’m hot and want to see me in spandex. LOLOL I had to do that just to make one friend truly miserable for a day.

Have you caught on to the fact that I run off on tangents often… Just push me back in line anytime I do it… really I have a tendency to just run off in a completely different direction and then next thing you know I am rambling about some random la la la…. just playing.

This time around I have to be more honest, more open, and more vulnerable. As we go along I will hopefully make you smile when I can, but I also want you to think about things… to question things… to be mindful about yourself and your health… Mindful about relationships. I have been fighting Rhabdo for 8 years, and for 7 and a half of those years it was a pretty private fight with a limited amount of people knowing the full story. However, to be able to make it to Minnesota we had to ask for help, and that required some opening up. Well remember that whole “she told two friends thing”… yea, I feel like now that only thing left “private” is the colour of my underwear!

I have had to answer questions, explain, verify, check, recheck, show, prove etc etc so many things about our private life it’s not even funny. So in a way, the blog kind of provided an outlet for the “so you really want to know… here ya go!!!” type releases. I came to realize that’s what people wanted to know… the truth. How I really felt. Hmmm novel idea. Someone asks a question, I give a complete and honest answer. (tangent – I’m now that guy who when asked “hey how’s it going today?” – If it’s a bad day and I feel like crap, my answer is “like crap, I feel like crap!”)

For the most part that’s ok, I’m good with it. I am glad that so many people have read what I have written and actually talked about it to others. There was that make ‘em cry fiasco, but I straightened those people out quick time and let them know there will be no crying round here! Another friend asked for advice and guidance regarding blogging…lolol me give advice about blogging… I looked her straight in the virtual eye and said in a deep raspy voice… “baby… I’m a blog virgin”. Seriously, I can’t give advice, but what I can say is blogging is a freeing experience. It’s a release for you, but it also provides insight for others when you can’t fully describe what is in your mind, heart, or soul, in verbal words. Text allows for a full account… allows you the ability to edit… to ponder. Sometimes I have wanted to tell someone what has been going on, but so much more is going on in my mind. What ends up happening? I leave out parts, short change details, and in some cases just don’t bother to even start because I know I won’t finish. But a blog allows the luxury of finishing the whole story at your own pace and convenience.

But it's not a complete open house of kumbya moments. As much as a blog is open, you can learn to hide and disappear in blog world. Wrapped up in my own moment, it can be very easy to just shut out the world because "my problems are bigger than your problems, so I just don't want to talk about it!"

One of the lessons I have learned (or learnt depending on your grammar/spelling teacher) is that if I am good at hiding what is going on with me, imagine what others are carrying around with them and not sharing. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own stories that we forget others have tales to tell as well. I have learned to remember to listen cautiously to others… remember that as much as I am going through other people have their own crosses to bear, and if I forget to listen I forget to be me. On any given day you will run into so many people with such bigger problems then you. You will do such a service to them and yourself if you just take the time to listen. Click here for a really interesting visualization.

So I will continue to write and expose my self, my whole self, and nothing but myself… even my underwear, which just so happens to be green, olive green and oooo so fresh and clean. Now you know everything.