Lonely, Hugs, Food, and Soccer

Well, by now, most of you know my father passed away on July 9, 2011. I am not sure I will ever be able to put into words my feelings, but as things come to me I will do my best to share them with you. What I can say is that I did not only lose one of the greatest fathers to walk the face of the earth, but I also lost my best friend. We fought like cat and dog over things that deserved fighting, but the love between us was unconditional. I will always love him…

So why the title you may ask?

Well, my wife and I were dreading the moment we would have to tell our two kids that grandpa was no longer with us. Many people offered their opinions on how to approach the subject, and in the end, the foundational heaven and earth story won. Grandpa went to sleep, Jesus wanted to take him home so that he would not feel pain any more, and now he was up in heaven smiling down on us.

So we took them out to dinner, and went to our favourite spouting fountain (does that rhyme?). We made the story as heartwarming as possible and our two children did what children do best, they shocked us!

The older one cried because he really wanted to go to see him again and was disappointed in the fact that he didn’t get to say goodbye. The younger one seemed more interested in the spouting of the fountain (ok so they don’t rhyme). Then all of a sudden they both turned to us and the little one asks, “Will grandpa get lots of hugs? And will they feed him?” to which we quickly replied yes… YES! The older one soon after follows with, “Well will he be lonely? And will he get to play lots of soccer? He was supposed to play with me again!”

Well I had made it this far tear free, but could make it no more. When do we lose the ability to approach things with this simplicity? If I could restrict my mind to this approach the whole process would be way easier. Meh, life can really suck, and then again, it can be really beautiful.

I answered that I heard heaven is full of awesome soccer players and that he would be far from lonely. They asked for coins to throw in the fountain and went off to ask Jesus to take care of him on his way back home.

Can it get any nicer… well of course it can. After all It’s a mikey story!

Two nights ago, at approximately 11:15 pm I get a tug and I Look around and it’s the wee one. He can’t sleep. He tried and he tried but his eyes wouldn’t close. So he asks for a hug, which thanks to physio I can now offer. Then we sit down in the kitchen because he wants an answer to a very serious question. So sitting on the kitchen floor with just some very soft under counter lights, my younger son stares me down as if he surely knows the answer I am about to give is a lie, and asks, “Daddy, is grandpa is heaven yet?”

“Yes sir, I think he’s there now. He is probably looking down at us right now.”

“Daddy, if he went already, why didn’t he pass by and visit on his way there?”

Do these kids take joy in making me cry? Is it their master plan to elicit water works on demand? This is not a rogers cable terminal where you can just push the yellow button and bam! But I cried! I then explained that Jesus doesn’t always allow people to ‘stop by’ on their way to heaven. I did assure him that grandpa would always look out for him and always be standing by his side. That was good enough for him. Mister marched straight to his bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

I’m gonna miss his grandpa… He was a good man!

Rest in Eternal Peace Pappy

1938-2011

It was a good run.